The Death Blog — Gagging for it … Literally

This is the twelfth installment of the Death Blog series.

Brian Petrowski
Saturday, 11:25pm, Auto-erotic asphyxiation.

When I saw Brian on my board I was sure Paul was giving me shit assignments again. But, as I scanned the rest of my culls I knew it was just par for the course.

Still, I wasn’t looking forward to it. Would there be a mess? Was I going to witness the big bang before the big boom?

I got to Brian’s apartment around 11:15 and killed some time in his living room, watching the fish in his aquarium as I listened to the audio of the porn movie playing rather loudly in his bedroom. I didn’t want to have to witness any more of his death than I had to.

Luckily, people who die as a result of their own behavior aren’t automatically treated as suicides unless they actually mean to kill themselves. This is one rule I wish I could break when it came to Darwin Award Nominees, but this time I was happy for it. Even though I consider myself pretty open-minded, I didn’t relish the thought of sticking around until someone walked in on the scene Brian would be leaving behind.

11:23 and I start to feel myself slipping under.